The umpire is a lonely man
Whose calls are known to every fan
Yet none will call him Dick or Dan
In all the season's games.
They'll never call him Al or Ed
Or Bill or Phil or Frank or Fred
Or Jim or Tim or Tom or Ted
They'll simply call him names.
Milton Bracker
"I wouldn't umpire a baseball game for the world. It requires too much judicial and tempermental balance." - Judge Landis
